My computer is praying for me

Well, I've finally gotten my computer fixed and can start recording the podcast again. A new hard drive and RAM make a hell of a lot of difference. The next episode should be up shortly, plus it sounds a lot better than the shit we had be producing. Now that my computer is running at 110%, I think I going to sign up for this.

As many of you know, I am not religious. In fact, I'm about the opposite of religious. And as such, I'm going to burn in hell for it. But now I have an answer to my non-existent prayers! As an agnostic/atheist, I want to live my life to the fullest with out the fear of some divine punishment. The Christian argument is "Better safe than sorry." I don't want to find out that hell exists when it is too late. But now I have the perfect solution. At Information Age Prayers, my computer will do all my praying for me, leaving me free to go out sinning! For a small fee, this service will say a prayer in any denomination that I choose, several times a day, for months at a time. And the best thing is, God doesn't know it's not me! He is getting a prayer that is coming my address, and that is good enough for him. Plus, if I sign up for all the prayers, the Catholic, the Jewish, Muslim, non-denominational, I'll have all my bases covered, you know, just in case Jesus was just a carpenter. I just have to remember to face my speakers east or else the Muslim ones won't work.

— Justin

1 comment:

  1. Finally, a product that insults and circumvents the foundation of religious prayer while simultaneously stealing money from the dumber members of the faithful flock. Inventor of this = decent human being fail.
    Granted, it is pretty funny.